Summary: While on a recent case, Doggett 
recalls the first time he realizes he loves 
Scully and comes close to losing her.

Rating: PG-13, maybe I'll get a little more 
adventurous next time, but I'm keeping it 
short, sweet and simple for now.

Category: DSR (with some angst)

Disclaimer: I have written very little 
fanfic before, but I've been pining for the 
X-Files (and Doggett) lately, so I had to 
get some of that frustration out. Tell me 
what you think, all constructive criticism 
is welcome. And, of course, I'm not getting 
any money for this and these characters 
aren't mine, I just love them and always 
will.

"Always"
by Christy Cale

John Doggett spat out a mouthful of blood 
and struggled to focus his eyes. He was on 
his knees in sharp gravel. He wanted to fall 
right over and not get up. Never before had 
he felt so exhausted. His body ached and 
every muscle felt like it had been pulled 
past its limits. He wanted to give up. But 
he wouldn't allow himself to stay down. 
'Scully needs me. Don't let her down.'

Somewhere behind him he heard footsteps – 
running, receding. He shut his eyes tightly 
for a moment and opened them to see a blur. 
Slowly, his focus returned and he found his 
attacker. It was a tall figure, dressed in 
dark jeans, a black sweater and worn 
sneakers. The coward had sucker punched 
Doggett. He was hiding in a corner when the 
FBI Special Agent had come into the room 
looking for Scully. One lucky punch had 
drawn blood and a swift kick from the 
assailant had sent Doggett to the floor. 

'Where is she?' Doggett was getting worried. 
He hadn't seen her in nearly fifteen 
minutes. Yes, it was only a fraction of an 
hour, but this was a dangerous stakeout. The 
man that they were watching was suspected in 
the brutal murders of several families. Just 
thinking about the crimes made Doggett's 
stomach turn.

He got to his feet; finding Scully was his 
first priority. Nothing was more important 
than her safety and the realization dawned 
on him: his heart ached for her more than 
his body ached from the pain. He stood and 
looked in the distance where the suspect had 
run. 'Scully,' he thought. Wincing, he made 
his way back to the spot where they were 
supposed to meet. Maybe she would be there 
by the time he returned.

As he walked back to their safehouse, 
Doggett thought about the first time that he 
realized he wanted her. He recalled the 
vivid dream that brought to surface his 
desires.  

***
He had been lying in bed and awoken to an 
insistent knocking on his door. Startled, he 
grabbed the gun that he kept stashed in his 
nightstand. He clicked off the safety and 
tiptoed to the door; the knocking continued 
the entire time. By the time he reached the 
door, he could hear a faint gasping. To his 
surprise, he found Scully outside the door. 
She was shaking. Seeing it was his partner, 
he opened the door immediantly. She rushed 
in and fell into his arms.

"Close the door!" She cried.

With her still collapsed in his arms, he 
threw his weight against the door and she 
quickly locked it.

"Agent Scully – What's wrong?" Doggett 
searched her eyes, but they were wild with 
fright and she was still clinging to him, 
her hands clenching his powerful biceps. 
Seeing that she was still gasping, he took 
led her to the couch and she sat. He set the 
gun down on the coffee table and turned on a 
lamp. Slowly, she loosened her grip on him, 
but her fear remained.

"Someone was following me! I- I-…" She was 
beyond terrified and looked at Doggett with 
the saddest eyes he had ever seen. Her voice 
became a whisper, "It was Donnie Pfaster." 
With tears spilling down her cheeks, she 
leaned over and grabbed her knees, holding 
herself like a child.

Doggett immediately recognized the name; 
from his initial reading of the X-Files, he 
had recalled that this was the man obsessed 
with death who had marked Scully for his 
target – twice – he had attacked her in her 
own apartment the last time. But she had 
killed him during the struggle that 
followed.

Carefully, Doggett put his arms around his 
partner's small frame and pulled her closer 
to him on the couch. She layed her head down 
on his chest and let him hold her. She was 
too scared to let her pride interfere. She 
needed security.

 He tried to reassure her that it was okay. 
"Stay here, tonight," He said. "I'll make 
sure that nothin' happens." I'll always 
protect you, he thought silently.

At the sound of his gravelly voice, Scully 
felt some of the fear receding. She knew 
John Doggett was a man of his word and in 
the past months he had proved his devotion 
to protecting her time and time again. Never 
had she felt so sure of anyone's protection 
before his. Even Mulder, while always her 
friend and former partner, couldn't be 
counted on like Doggett. That is why she had 
showed up at his door at three a.m.

She knew that she wouldn't feel safe 
anywhere else, so she stayed. Doggett 
offered her his bed and told her that he 
would be awake downstairs the whole night, 
should she need anything. But she wanted to 
stay by his side for a bit, her trembling 
had stopped, but goosebumps remained on her 
flesh. 

He fetched a blanket from a nearby hope 
chest and wrapped her up in it. She smiled 
at him gratefully and Doggett's heart felt 
light. He said to himself, How does she do 
it, ol' boy? She's scared out of her mind 
and can still make ya feel like a school kid 
in love? He brushed the thought out of his 
mind. If what she had said was true, that 
Donnie Pfaster was back, then this was going 
to be a hell of a night.   

Fortunately, nothing happened. Scully, after 
hours of wondering, had fallen asleep on the 
couch next to Doggett. Her head rested 
against his chest and her feet were curled 
up next to her. She was sound asleep against 
Doggett's chest and he when he looked down, 
he could see her head bob slightly with each 
of his breaths. Deciding that she would be 
more comfortable in the bed, he gently 
gathered her up in his arms and carried her 
up the stairs.

He pushed open the door to his bedroom with 
is foot and laid her down on the bed. He 
pulled the covers up and took one long last 
look at her. You're beautiful, Scully, he 
thought. How he wished to be her knight in 
shining armor. And, as if she had heard his 
silent thoughts, she stirred in bed. Her 
eyes flew open and she sat up in bed, scared 
all over again. 

"It's alright," he said quickly. Suddenly 
afraid that she'd get the wrong impression. 
"You fell asleep on the couch; I just 
thought ya'd be more comfortable in bed."

"How did I get here?" She asked.

Blushing slightly, he answered. "Well, I 
carried you."

She still was trembling but managed to smile 
a bit at the thought. He gazed at her all 
the while. Finally, with a bit of regret, he 
looked down and said, "I'll be downstairs if 
you need anything."And with that he stepped 
out of the room.

Scully hesistated just a moment, then she 
called out for him, "John?"

She never called him by his first name 
before, but she was feeling courageous, 
despite her situation. 

He quickly returned, "Yeah?" She noticed his 
eyes were shining brightly.

"Will you hold me? Just for a little while?"
  
Doggett's heart raced. "Sure." He climbed 
into bed next to her and put his strong arms 
around her. She nuzzled against his chest 
affectionately. His heart beat even faster. 
Scully rested her head on his shoulder and 
sighed contently. Her breath escaped her and 
lingered upon Doggett's ear; every nerve in 
his body tingled in response. He hoped 
against all that his body wouldn't betray 
his emotions, that's all he needed, was her 
seeing him aroused when he was supposed to 
be protecting her. But, inside, he was 
shouting with joy. This was what he wanted. 
This is all he needed. With the woman he 
loved in his arms, he was free from the rest 
of the world.

And as she slowly dozed off still in his 
arms, he got up the courage to say what he 
had been thinking all along.

"I'll always love you," he whispered into 
her hair, and he gently kissed the top of 
her head. 

***   
That was where the dream ended and reality 
set in. Doggett was an intelligent man; he 
knew that this was just a silly dream of an 
old fool. Scully didn't care for him like 
that and he didn't need any feelings 
complicating their partnership, which in 
itself was already too complex for words. 

'Concentrate on the problem, ol' boy,' he 
thought to himself. 'Find her first. Then 
worry about your wishful thinkin'.' He 
reached their meeting point and called out 
into the darkness, "Agent Scully?"

She partially emerged from the shadows but 
remained well out of the light. 

'Thank God,' Doggett thought. A grin began 
to spread over his face, "I was startin' to 
get worried." He stepped toward her but she 
stayed in place. Something seemed slightly 
out of place. Doggett was still bleeding 
from his torn lip but she hadn't said 
anything about it. Usually she would quickly 
assume the role of doctor whenever he was 
injured, but she wasn't moving any closer. 
Maybe she just couldn't see the blood in the 
dim light. Still, something was wrong.

"Did you see where the suspect took off?" He 
asked.

She continued to stare at him with an absent 
look. No, not absent he began to realize, 
terrified. He saw her hands, bound in rope 
and tied tightly. As the situation dawned on 
him, he began to draw his weapon from the 
holster on his hip.

"I wouldn't do that Agent Doggett." A 
threatening voice penetrated the silence. 
"Agent Scully has abandoned her weapon, and 
I suggest you do the same, unless you want 
to see your partner cut right before you." 

From the dark corners emerged a glaring 
face. His eyes were glassy and full of rage. 
There almost nothing of him showing, except 
for his face and neck. He was dressed almost 
entirely in black, with the same shoddy 
sneakers that Doggett had seen earlier. This 
was the man who attacked him, this was their 
killer. As more and more of him pushed 
Scully into the light, Doggett saw the blade 
that was moving closer and closer to her 
clenched throat. 

It sent him over the edge.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Doggett 
recognized that it was a hunting knife, like 
the ones that hunters used to gut animals 
after the catch. It was a long piece of 
steel with one half of the blade notched out 
to create the gutting tool. Cold, sharp 
steel.

Somewhere, even further away, Doggett could 
hear the man shouting for him to drop his 
gun. And he did. It fell to the floor with a 
clatter that awoke an old part of John 
Doggett.

He fell to his knees like the gunman 
commanded and turned around slowly, so his 
back was facing his opponent. He held his 
hands where the killer could see them, just 
as Doggett had commanded so many suspects 
before. 

Doggett heard Scully cry out as the killer 
struck her with the butt of the knife, 
sending her to the floor where she remained.

She began to shout in panic, afraid that she 
would see her partner killed before her 
eyes, making her his next victim.

But Doggett blocked out her screaming. He 
was listening for something else. He closed 
his eyes and cleared his mind. The only 
thing he concentrated on was the sound of 
the killer's footsteps on the concrete 
floor. The sound of steps coming closer and 
becoming louder. Doggett breathed slowly in 
and slowly out. He was completely calm. A 
smile even crossed his now-stubbly face.

Time seemed to slow down to a creeping crawl 
on its belly. Like a soldier making his way 
under barbed wire. And when the moment was 
right… 

He struck! 

Doggett's body moved so fast that the man 
had no chance. His swift arm came down on 
the outstretched arm holding the knife, and 
he sent it straight down to the ground. 
There was a sickening sound of bone meeting 
rock and the killer screamed in fury as much 
as pain. The knife had been sent flying by 
now and was well out of either mens reach. 
But Doggett was proving himself to be more 
dangerous a weapon than any blade ever 
weilded by man. His next punch sent the 
killer sprawling backwards on the ground, 
clenching his shattered elbow. 

Doggett was still calm. His mind had been 
taken over by the soldier who he once was. 
Tireless training, intense focus, complete 
control were all he knew. 'Execute the 
mission,' his mind said. Response: 
'Execution is the mission. You were going to 
kill her,' he thought. 'I have to keep her 
safe.'

Doggett was kneeling on the man's chest and 
still fought the body when it finally lay 
motionless on the floor. His fists were as 
bloody and bruised as the man's face when 
Scully's searing voice finally pulled him 
back to the present.     

"Agent Doggett! John Doggett!" She cried. 
Tears were in her eyes and he could see them 
starting to fall when he looked up.

She was scared. For a moment, she thought 
she lost him. He looked down at the bloody 
pulp that remained of the man and glanced 
back to her. 

"It's okay…" She whispered. "It's alright 
now." He took his and cuffs from his belt 
and secured the man, though he knew that the 
killer wasn't going to be able to go 
anywhere anytime soon. He rushed to Scully's 
side and brushed away the tears that had 
falled on her skin.  
 
"Are you alright?" He asks her finally. He 
could see the clear bruising on the nape of 
her neck where the butt of the knife had 
clubbed her.

She shook her head quietly, stating the 
obvious. "I wouldn't have been without you."

His eyes become intensely focused on her 
alone now. He unties the rope around her 
wrists. "It's my job to protect you," he 
says solemly.

Once the ropes are removed he can see the 
many cuts and large welts that remain. He 
picks up one wrist and cradles it gently in 
his large hands. He looks at her and then 
follows her gaze as she glances back to the 
killer. Her eyes flood with tears once more 
and he hurriedly rests her head against his 
chest, enveloping her in his warmth. He 
gently kisses her injured wrists and calms 
her cries. 

Eventually, he calls for help on his cell 
phone but he continues to hold her tightly. 
His own wounds have been long forgotten, but 
the blood loss and exhaustion are taking 
their toll. He slowly moves to lean against 
the nearest wall and by the time that his 
body slides to a sitting position, he passes 
out while holding her and she is left alone 
in their so-called safehouse.  

"Agent Doggett?" She calls to him. She 
quickly presses her index and middle fingers 
to his neck and can feel the strong 
heartbeat. She knows he is passed out, but 
senses that he will be alright. So she 
gathers him in her arms, this time being his 
protector and holds him until the ambulance 
arrives and takes them both away.    

Doggett wakes up in a hospital the next day. 
It is a lonely sight; no get well cards, no 
flowers or balloons, just the persistent 
beeping from many monitors. He rubs his eyes 
of the sleepiness that still claims them and 
finds his hands are heavily bandaged. The 
sight brings back the events of last night. 
Immediately his mind turns to Scully. He 
climbs out of his bed and takes the IV line 
that is stuck to his arm. He wonders where 
she might be. He walks down the hall to the 
nurses' station and is greeted by a blonde 
nurse who rises and smiles at him warmly. 

"Mr. Doggett, I knew that you'd be feeling 
better soon, but I think you should get back 
to bed." Her voice is sweet but firm. She 
comes from behind the desk to escort him 
back. 

"Where's my partner?" He asks. "Dana 
Scully?" 

The nurse replies, "She's in a room down the 
hall, but I think you should get some rest 
before visiting."

"Please, ma'am." He is insistent. "I just 
want to make sure she's alright."

Sighing, the nurse says, "Are all you agents 
this stubborn?"

At his confused look, she explains, "Agent 
Scully demanded that she be able to check on 
you. She was just in your room about thirty 
minutes ago. I practically had to drag her 
back to her bed; she'd been with you all 
night."

A smile grew on John Doggett's face and he 
even chuckled. "I promise not to be too 
long."

The pretty blonde nurse knew that she was 
not going to get anything else done until he 
saw his partner, so she led him down the 
hall to Scully's room.

Dana Scully was sound asleep in the bed, 
while a few monitors beeped in the 
background. Doggett moved to her side and 
sat in the chair that had been pulled up 
next to her bed. As he glanced around the 
room, he saw a large bouquet of flowers and 
a handful of 'get well soon' cards. He 
assumed that they were from Dana's mother 
and Mulder. The pang of loneliness suddenly 
hit him and he felt guilty for invading her 
privacy. 

This was not where he belonged, he thought, 
the empty room he had left was all he really 
had. He sighed and took one last long look 
at his beautiful partner. He glanced out the 
door to make sure he was still alone in the 
room and gave her the quickest peck on her 
forehead. "I'll always love you, Dana. I 
hope you know that." And he sighed softly 
and headed for his room.

As he passed the nurses' station, he thanked 
the blonde nurse who had led him to his love 
earlier. He climbed back into his hospital 
bed and tried to push out the lonliness that 
was consuming him. Sleep finally came 
fitfully.

When he awoke, he felt a warm presence next 
to him. He was shocked to see Dana laying 
next to him, her arms wrapped around his 
chest and her head next to his on the pillow 
they were sharing.

Her blue eyes were wide open and staring at 
his surprised expression. 

The next thing she did didn't help clear his 
confusion. 

She pulled his stubbly face close to hers 
and pressed her lips against his. 

It was the most magical kiss John Doggett 
had ever experienced. His eyes closed and 
his shock melted to ecstacy. His mind 
finally took control over his body and he 
pulled her close to him, kissing her back 
passionately. She finally pulled away from 
his kisses, and gazed into his eyes. "I love 
you, John."

He smiled and hugged her tightly. "I've 
always loved you. I always will." He 
whispered into ear. 

As they kissed again and held each other in 
the small bed, he thought to himself, 
'You're the luckiest guy in the world, ol' 
boy.' She was thinking the same thing.