Title: Angels Author: Agent X (aka Bel) Summary: Invocation alternate ending and post-ep Keywords: Doggett, Scully, Luke Doggett Spoilers: Invocation, Empedocles (even though I haven’t seen it!), all of season 8 — just in case Rating: PG-13 for a few objectionable words Disclaimer: The wonderful characters in this story are the property of the genius Chris Carter, 1013 and Fox Archive: anywhere you like, just let me know please Feedback: Yes please, good or bad, to aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au Dedication: This story is entirely dedicated to the wonderful Robert Patrick, who has inspired me to write this by bringing the character of John Doggett to life! J * * * Angels 9.37 pm Doggett and Scully were sitting in the car outside the Underwood’s home when Ronnie Purnell pulled up across the street. "Hey," said Doggett. "What the hell is he doing here?" Doggett got out of the car and went over to where Ronnie was parked. Ronnie didn’t see him approaching because he was transfixed to the little boy who was supposed to be dead, and who was now sitting in the car next to him. "Get away from me," Ronnie cried. He is startled when Doggett knocks on the window of the car. Doggett then sees Billy. "What the hell…" Doggett says. "Ronnie, get him out of there." Ronnie guns the engine of the car and takes off down the street. "Agent Scully!" yells Doggett, running back to the car. She turns the car around, picks him up and they head in the direction Ronnie went. They lose sight of the other car for a few minutes. "There he is!" Scully exclaims. They see the cars tail lights heading into the woods just out of town. They follow. A short time later they find the other car abandoned in a clearing just off the road. They get out of their own car, flashlights in hand. Doggett is scanning the ground for tracks. Suddenly they hear a single gunshot, close enough to leave their ears ringing from the sound. "Billy!" Doggett shouts, drawing his gun, and takes off in the direction of the sound. "Agent Doggett, wait!" calls Scully. When he doesn’t answer she curses and runs in the direction he disappeared. Agent Doggett was running blindly through the woods, searching for any sign of Ronnie or Billy. He had to find Billy… he had to get to him before it was too late. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and get his bearings. He heard a stick breaking just behind him and spun around to come face to face with the barrel of a gun. Ronnie cocked the gun and motioned for Doggett to be quiet. "Throw your gun on the ground," Ronnie said quietly. Doggett did so. Shit, he thought, where the hell is Scully? "Look Ronnie," Doggett said carefully. "We just want to know where Billy is and what is going on here. No one has to get hurt." Ronnie was getting agitated. "Billy? I don’t know where he is, man! I know where I buried him, 10 years ago, but I sure as hell don’t know what happened after that." Doggett turned to face Ronnie again, aware of the gun still pointed at him. "Are you saying you killed Billy, 10 years ago?" "That’s what I’m saying, man. And now he’s back. He’s back to get me." Ronnie’s aim wavered as he made sure no one was sneaking up behind him. Doggett seized the opportunity and threw himself at Ronnie, knocking them both to the ground. He grabbed for the gun. Ronnie might be smaller than Doggett, but he was strong. He wrestled the gun out of Doggett’s grip while at the same time hitting him in the face with the barrel. Stars swam in Doggett vision and before he could react Ronnie was standing over him, pointing the gun at his head. "Oh, man, you really shouldn’t have done that." He said menacingly. Doggett swore under his breath as Ronnie continued. "You see, I’ve told you that I killed Billy, but I don’t want to go to jail, so now I’m gonna have to kill you too." Doggett closed his eyes at the sound of the hammer being pulled back. It’s finally over, he thought. I’m on my way, darling. The sound of the gunshot brought him back to reality. He opened his eyes, wondering why he felt no pain. Ronnie was sprawled on his back, eyes wide, smoking gun still in his hand and a bullet wound in the centre of his forehead. "Agent Doggett?" He heard his partners frantic cries somewhere nearby. "Agent Scully,’ he called. "Over here." She came running into the clearing and stopped short at seeing Ronnie on the ground. "What happened?" she asked breathlessly. "I don’t know," Doggett said. "He had me on the ground saying he was going to kill me. I closed my eyes and the next minute I heard the shot and he was lying on the ground." Scully walked over to Ronnie and picked up the gun, inspecting it. "Look, Agent Doggett." She held up the gun for him to see. The whole top of the barrel was missing. "The gun misfired," she said. Doggett took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. "He confessed to killing Billy, Agent Scully… ten years ago." Scully looked at him with a shocked expression. "How… then who… who was that little boy?" "I don’t know Agent Scully. The only thing I know is that we have to go back to the Underwood’s and tell them their son is really dead." * * * 11.21 am The next day A knock on the door was the last thing Doggett wanted right now. He knew it would be her and he knew what she wanted. He just wasn’t ready for it. Another knock came, more urgent, more persistent. He shut his eyes thinking that if he ignored her, she would go away. He opened them again when he heard her open the door. Damn, he thought, forgot to lock it. He didn’t open his eyes or get up as she walked cautiously into the room. He could feel her standing next to him, watching him, wondering what to do. He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Agent Doggett?" she asked softly. He opened his eyes then and wished he hadn’t. The look of concern in her blue eyes made them even wider and rounder than usual. God, he loved those eyes. "Agent Scully. What are you doing here?" He sat up slowly. "I… uh… your door was open so I…" He cut her off. "I don’t mean that. Why did you come here? What do you want?" She sat down on the couch next to him. "I want to know what was going on with you these last few days, with this case." As much as he just wanted to let it all spill out, he couldn’t. "Nothing was the matter. I was just a little tired, that’s all." Scully sighed. "Come on Agent Doggett, you know that’s not true. Something in this case was bothering you and I think, as your partner, I have a right to know what it is." He got angry. "Look Agent Scully. I’m sorry I’m not Agent Mulder and I know how you feel about having me as a partner. And even if there was something wrong, the last thing I am going to do is confide in someone who can hardly stand being in the same room as me, let alone consider me her partner." He stopped and closed his eyes again. He knew he had gone too far but he was sick of being treated like shit by the woman who calls herself his partner. He waited for her to say something, or to get up and leave; preferably the latter. When she didn’t say anything for a few minutes, he opened his eyes thinking she may have left without him hearing her. When he sees her still sitting next to him with her head in her hands, he doesn’t know what to say. When she raises her head, that her eyes are glistening with unshed tears. "Shit," He mutters to himself. "Agent Scully I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…’ She cuts him off on the verge of tears. "No! It’s not you who should be sorry. From the moment I met you, you’ve done nothing but try to help me find Mulder. You’ve given up your chance at the Directorship to be my partner on the X-Files and you’ve watched my back without question. So what do I do in return? I treat you like absolute shit. I act as if you don’t exist, when in actual fact you are the best partner anyone could ever hope for. I was just so determined to find Mulder that I couldn’t handle anyone else being my partner. I hated Mulder for disappearing, but because you were there I took that hate out on you!" "Agent Scully," he began. "You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I am as much to blame for our misunderstandings as you are. I guess I held you at arms length, because of Mulder, because of the X- Files, but mostly because that’s who I am. If I get too involved in things they take over my life and I… that happened once before and…" He trailed off, uncomfortable with sharing his innermost feelings with her. She looked at him expectantly, sensing there was something he wasn’t telling her. There was a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away. He cleared his throat. "Look, I understand what you’re going through. I really do." She looked up at him with a tinge of curiosity. Here we go , he thought, she’s put two and two together. "You understand… this case… that’s why you were acting strangely. Like the woman said, you’ve lost someone like Billy, haven’t you?" He sighed and handed her a tissue. "I guess I better tell you the whole story, huh?" She nodded with a small smile. "I’d like that." "I’ve always been dedicated to my work. Even when I was at school I was a perfectionist. Everything had to be right. I guess it paid off in the end cos I have a job that I like and I’m good at, but I paid the price… I sure paid the price." "Fourteen years ago I had the perfect life. I had a good job and I was married to the most wonderful woman in the world…" He saw Scully’s look of surprise when he said this but continued anyway. "… I came home from work one day and Miriam told me she was pregnant. It was a shock at first but we were both so excited! We were gonna be parents. Nine months later she gave birth to our baby son, Luke. If I had though my life was perfect before, it was even better now. Miriam and I loved each other very much and we loved Luke more than anything. We thought we had the perfect life…" He trailed off, took a deep breath and continued. "In 1994, when Luke was 7, I was a Detective with the NYPD. There was a case or serial kidnapping in the larger New York area and I was assigned to the case. I worked night and day, determined to find the kidnapper (and possible killer) before he struck again. That was after the fourth victim disappeared. By the time the eighth kid had gone, I was losing hope that we’d ever find the kids again. I was working around the clock, sleeping in my chair at the office, going home for maybe an hour a day, if that. At about 9.30 one morning the phone rang. It was Miriam and she was frantic. The school had phoned her to say Luke had not arrived, The school was only a few streets away from our house, so he and his friends walked every morning. Luke had been late so he walked alone that morning. Miriam had phoned the local police, who said they couldn’t do anything until he’d been missing for 24 hours." He stopped again. Scully was sitting facing him, eyes wide, her hand over her mouth. "My God," she whispered. "What happened?" "The night before this happened I got home around 11.30. Luke was already asleep so I crept in and kissed him on the forehead. That was the last time I ever saw my son…alive…" He turned away from her, his voice breaking. He slammed his eyes shut in an effort to stop the tears that were threatening to spill over his cheeks. All of a sudden he felt two small hands on his shoulders, followed by Scully’s head resting against his back. "John," she whispered. "I’m so sorry." He sat there for a moment before he became aware of her rubbing his shoulders gently, massaging his neck. He drew in a shaky breath in an effort to control his voice. "Do you want me to go on?" he asked her. "Only if you want to," she replied. "I know it’s painful but talking sometimes helps." "Okay. The kidnapper took fourteen children in total, all around the same age as Luke. I begged to stay on the case even though I had such a personal connection to it. We brought in a suspect and I was convinced he was guilty, but there was no evidence to link him to the places of the kidnappings so he walked. I was working double shifts and hardly saw my wife. She quit her job after Luke disappeared so she had nothing to do but sit home all day and think about him. I should have been there with her but I never knew she would…" He took another deep breath. Scully continued to massage his neck. "One night I came home to change and I couldn’t find her. I checked the kitchen, the bedroom, the lounge, the bathroom. She was nowhere to be found. I walked into the kitchen to call Miriam’s mother when I saw something strange in the yard. I found her out in the yard. She… she had… hung herself… from Luke’s cubbyhouse…" The tears in his eyes spilled over his cheeks and his body shook with his sobs. "How was I supposed to know?" he choked out. "I had so much hope we would find Luke alive. She had none. She left note apologising to me for not walking him to school. She blamed herself. I wasn’t there for them both and they’re gone…" Scully sat there with a stunned expression on her face. She never knew her partner had suffered so much in his life. She was seeing a side of him she never knew existed. She had always marvelled at his dedication to finding Mulder alive, but now she knew why; because of Luke. "Agent Doggett…" she began. "John. You can’t blame yourself for what happened. Luke’s disappearance wasn’t your fault." "Well I can’t blame her, can I?" he said bitterly. "Who else is there left to blame but myself?" Scully sighed. There was nothing she could do to help him except listen, so she asked him what happened next. "End of story. Nothing more to tell." He said. "But there is, John. This explains a lot to me but it still doesn’t tell me why you did what you did today." Doggett sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Why I did that today? Why I risked my life to stop him, to find Billy? To tell you the truth Agent Scully, my life doesn’t mean much anymore. In fact it hasn’t meant much since the night my wife died." "And what if that gun had gone off properly Agent Doggett? Then what?" asked Scully. "Then? Then nothing. I would probably be dead." "And that doesn’t bother you?" she asked in disbelief. "Agent Scully. I have no family. No one to come home to. My parents died a long time ago. Miriam is dead. Luke is probably dead and I would just as soon join them." Scully couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This man sitting in front of her, her partner, the man she thought was emotionally indestructable, wanted to die. He hated life so much without his family that he was willing to give it up. She had no idea what to say and was relieved when he started talking again. "Ever since the day Miriam died, I’ve purposely put myself in risky situation. I would never knowingly endanger anyone else’s life, but I would volunteer for the most dangerous assignment, go into suspicious places without waiting for backup. I didn’t care what happened to me anymore and neither did anybody else." Scully put her hand on his arm and gave him a small smile. "Would it help if I cared?" He looked at her curiously for a moment and then smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate it." "After all you’ve done for me I think I owe it to you," she replied. "You don’t owe me anything, Agent Scully. When I told you I’d help you find Mulder, it was as much for my peace of mind as yours. I didn’t want anyone else to suffer what I went through after losing Luke and if I could find Mulder for you I thought I could save you from that, but I can’t. Scully moved closer to him and turned his head with her hand so he was looking at her. "Agent Doggett, you have no idea how much your help and support over the last months has meant to me. When Mulder disappeared I wanted to die too, but you have helped me through this, watched my back and brought me hope that we will find him." She looked down at her hands as she continued. "When I saw you in the wood today with Ronnie Purnell and when I heard that gunshot I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose another partner." She paused. "And not just a partner. A friend." She looked up at him to find him staring back down at her. "You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that," he said quietly. She smiled, then leant over to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they stayed like that for a while. "I should be going," Scully said after a while, and pulled back from his embrace. "Yeah, okay," he said, a bit awkwardly, standing up. "Look, Agent Doggett…" He interrupted her. "John… it’s John." "John" she said. "I know you have watched my back without question, but I can’t do the same for you if you put yourself in dangerous situations. You were lucky today but you might not be next time." "I know. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again." He said. "And thanks… thanks for listening, Agent Scully." "Anytime Agent… John," she corrected herself with a smile. "Any time. And my name is Dana." "Dana," he acknowledged. She grabbed her coat and headed out the front door. Halfway down the path she turned, looked at him and gave a small laugh. "What?" he asked. "I still can’t get over that gun firing backwards after it worked perfectly a few minutes before. I swear, John, you must have angels protecting you." She got in her car and drove off. Doggett shut the door and headed upstairs to the bedroom. He stared at the photo of Luke and Miriam he always kept on the dresser. "Maybe I do have angels watching over me, Agent Scully," he said. "Maybe I do." The End Author’s Note: Phew. This is my first fanfic and it seems to have taken forever to write. I don’t know how people write 100 pages of this — I’m exhausted and this is only 5!! Anyway, please email me with feedback — good or bad — at aussie_xphile25@yahoo.com.au — as I said this is my first attempt so if enough people tell me it is crap I won’t write anymore. The idea for the angels part of the story came from a song by Robbie Williams which I think is very appropriate for John Doggett. Here’s the lyrics: Angels by Robbie Williams I sit and wait Does an angel contemplate my fate And do they know The places where we go When we’re grey and old ‘Cos I’ve been told That salvation lets their wings unfold So when I’m lying in my bed Thoughts running through my head And I feel that love is dead I’m loving angels instead CHORUS And through it all She offers me protection A lotta love and affection Whether I’m right or wrong And down the waterfall Wherever it may take me I know that life won’t break me When I come to call she won’t forsake me I’m loving angels instead When I’m feeling weak And my pain walks down a one way street And I know I’ll always be blessed with love And as the feeling grows She breathes flesh to my bones And when love is dead I’m loving angels instead REPEAT CHORUS Please visit my website: www.geocities.com/aussie_xphile25/