Title: "Let Me Hear You Say the Words" (1/1)
Beautiful Cynic  < beautiful_cynic@yahoo.com >
Classification: DSR/V
Spoilers: None specific, through S8
Rating: G
Summary:  Sometimes, all you have to do is ask.
Disclaimer:  Doggett, Scully, Maggie, Bill, William...they all belong to
1013 Productions.  I'm just having a little fun.
Archive: Anywhere is fine, just leave my name on it, and if ya can, let
me know where I can go see it ;)
Author's notes:  This fic is an answer to a Doggett/Scully first kiss challenge.  
Again, I went to Grant Langston's playlist for a title.  God bless 'im!
Feedback:  Pretty please?  beautiful_cynic@y...  Constructive criticism 
welcomed, flames will be shared with others and mocked heavily.

*

"Say the word, and I'll throw in the towel, say the word and I'll call in
the dogs.  Say the word and I'll throw all the other gals to the curb, but
I have not heard you say the word."
--"The Word", Grant Langston ("Chinese Fire Drill", MSG Records)

Dana Scully batted an errant piece of crepe paper out of her path as she
carried the stack of dirty party plates into the kitchen and dropped them
in the trash can.  The back of her hand brushed her hair off her forehead,
a few stubborn strands clinging to her damp brow.

William's first birthday party had gone off without a hitch, thanks in
large part to her mother, of course, who was relishing getting to do all
the things with Will that she'd missed out on with Bill's kids.  

A delighted squeal from the backyard caught her attention and she looked
up, out the window over the sink.  Her mother was sitting in a chair,
holding her arms out to William who had just begun to master taking a few
baby steps at a time.  Scully smiled widely as she watched her beautiful
little boy toddle towards his grandmother.  A slight afternoon breeze
caught her son's auburn hair, ruffling it.  

Her breath caught in her throat and she blinked, rubbing her eyes. 
No...there was no way...that couldn't have been...  Scully shook her head.
"Great, now you're seeing things, Dana.  What next?" she muttered, turning
away from the window.

"What sort of things?"

Scully yelped in surprise.  "Jesus, Doggett, don't sneak up on me like
that!"  She clapped a hand over her heart, which was going a mile a
minute.

"Sorry 'bout that, Scully,"  John Doggett said, setting the remnants of
the birthday cake on the counter.  He nodded towards the window.  "So,
what'd ya see out there?  A ghost?"  There was a teasing glint in
Doggett's eyes, but when he saw the distressed expression on his partner's
face, he was all business.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, frowning as soon as the words left her lips.  "No,
that's not entirely true," she admitted.  It was strange...she found it
was easier to divulge some things to Agent Doggett that she could have
never told Mulder.  "God, this is going to sound like I'm going crazy."  

Scully glanced out the window again.  William was sitting in her mom's lap
clapping his hands to whatever song Maggie was singing to him.  A small
smile broke across her face as she watched them.

"Agent Scully...you were gonna tell me something that made you sound
crazy?" Doggett prompted.

"What?  Oh...it's nothing," she backpeddaled.

"Now, see, I don't believe that.  I saw your face just then.  That wasn't
'nothing'."

Scully hesitated before answering Doggett, moving through the kitchen and
picking up the bits and pieces of trash she could find and depositing them
in the trash.  "I looked out the window, and William was walking the lawn
towards mom...the wind blew his hair, but I could have sworn I saw
my....my father out there, tousling Will's hair, watching him play..." 
Her voice caught in her throat and she turned away from her partner,
trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

A firm, but gentle hand closed over her shoulder.  "That's not crazy,
Scully.  I bet your dad is watchin' over Will, and loving every minute of
it.  They never leave us.  They're always with us, makin' sure we're
happy. And I think that, there are times when they know we need a little
reassurance, so they allow us a glimpse."  Doggett fell silent, clearing
his throat.

Slowly, Scully turned to face him.  "You've seen Luke."  It wasn't a
question.  In the almost two years they've been partnered, this is by far
the most frank discussion about anything supernatural they'd ever had.  It
was also the most personal.

Doggett nodded.  "Few times, here and there."  He didn't elaborate.

Swiping at the tears in her eyes, Scully let out a sigh.  "I'm relieved. 
I was beginning to worry about my mental state.  This past year..."

"Yeah, it's been rough.  And I admire how you've handled it.  Especially
since Mulder left," he added, voice becoming gentler.

"That was for the best.  I needed to be strong for William, and for
myself. I couldn't carry all three of us."

Doggett shifted his weight from one foot to the other.  Scully's
relationship with Mulder was something about which he made a point to stay
as uninformed as possible.  "Still, it's hard to let go of someone you
love," he said, wincing at the change of tone when he said 'love'. It came
out more of a question than he'd intended.

"The Mulder I was in love with disappeared in that Oregon forest two years
ago.  The man who came back to me?  That wasn't him.  No matter how hard I
tried to make him be that man, it was never going to happen."  There was
no sadness in her voice, no regret, just acceptance.

"Have you heard from him?" Doggett asked, pausing a beat, then continuing.
"You don't have to answer that, this is none of my business."  His face
burned an uncharacteristic shade of red.  His reasons for asking these
questions were selfish and bordering on the entirely inappropriate.

"No, it's fine."  She picked up the cake knife and turned the blade away
from her.  Pinching it between her thumb and forefinger, she ran the
digits over the blade, pushing the frosting into one large clump at the
end.  "He sent a card for my birthday, and one for Will.  Some cash with a
note for me to buy him whatever he wanted or needed."  Setting the knife
in the sink, she smeared the frosting onto a plate.

"Whatever they did to him while he was gone, it changed him so completely.
We talked about it, and decided that he could never be what William and I
needed, and, though I couldn't admit it then, he wasn't what I wanted. A
damaged, broken man who would always have to lean on me.  Not someone I
could I lean on when I was weak."

She looked up at Doggett.  "Can I ask you something?"

Caught in the gaze of those blue eyes, Doggett faltered.  He'd wanted an
out from this discussion, but now...he saw no end in sight.  Taking a deep
breath, he strengthened his resolve to keep his feelings for her in check
and deeply hidden.  "Yeah, of course you can."

"Why did you do it?  All those times I'd make mention of something I
wanted to do around my apartment, or something I wanted to do with
William, you made them all happen.  When I called you in the middle of the
night, in a panic because he kept throwing up his feedings, you knew what
to do.  But instead of telling me over the phone, you came over here, even
though you had to be at work the next morning."  She glanced down, running
a finger through the wad of frosting, then licking it off her finger
absently.  "I'm not complaining.  Your help has been invaluable.  But what
I don't understand is why."

He watched her, expression unreadable.  She noticed, not for the first
time, how blue his eyes were, how much character the lines and crags of
his face held.  It was a handsome face, and she couldn't quite understand
why she hadn't seen it sooner.

When he spoke, he dropped his eyes to the floor.  "I did it because...
because you needed some help, but were too proud to ask.  And because I
needed to.  I can't ever do for my boy again, but I can be there for you
and William.  I know how hard it is with a new baby and two parents.  I
can't imagine what it was like doin' this alone for this past year."  
Doggett looked up at her, his next sentence fading before he could speak. 
He chuckled, a crooked smirk on his face.  "You, ah...you have a little
frosting..."  He tapped his upper lip.

"What?  Where?"   Scully licked her lips.  "Did that do it?"

They both felt it.  The shift in the room.  He'd been watching her for
over a year now, watching her, and wanting to be closer to her.  Never
allowing himself to believe he could be.  But with one small gesture, one
swipe of her tongue over her full lips, she'd dissolved his iron will.

"Let me help," he said.  Gently, he took her face in his hands, drawing
her closer to him.  Leaning in, he kissed her.  He inhaled deeply,
breathing her scent, a perfume he'd only caught distant hints of before. 
Sensory glimpses of her that had left him wanting so much more.  

Her mouth was warm and soft, sweet with butter cream frosting, and he was
surprised when she yielded to his kiss.  Her plush lips parted slightly
under his and he groaned in the back of his throat.  Reluctantly, they
both broke the kiss, half-turning away from each other as they scrambled
to make sense of what had just happened.

It was Doggett who spoke first.  "All you ever had to do was say the
words, and I'd have been there.  Anything you or that boy needed or
wanted, I would have...I *will* gladly provide."  He reached up, pushing a
lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail back behind her ear.  "Just say
the word."

He watched her expectantly, hand still cupping her face.  His stomach was
in his throat; his heart, in her hands.

An enigmatic smile broke across Scully's face.  She said nothing, but
stretched on tip-toe, reaching up and drawing him into an answering kiss.

And that was better than words.

*end

=====
~Jen~
Official Sommelier of the Doggship
My Temp. Doggfic page: 
http://www.geocities.com/beautiful_cynic/bc_fic.html
AIM: ABeautiful Cynic
"Okay, this is a little *too* 'Naked Lunch'."
--John Crichton, Farscape: "Fractures"