TITLE: Looking up at the stars changes everything! AUTHOR: Kay49x RAITING: PG / G SUMMARY: Its been months after Mulder was finally laid to rest but Scully is as distant as ever towards Doggett and he’s had enough. He’s tired of loving someone who has none but is she just being in denial? CATEGORY: DSR (Doggett and Scully Romance awwwww) DISCLAIMER: The Characters Doggett and Scully are not and never will be mine (unfortunately hehe) they belong to an absolute genius called Chris Carter and 1013 AUTHORS NOTES: Hmmmm! Doggetts hot Scullys hot for him whoop whoop! John Doggett sat up in bed, his body was clammy with sweat after the dream he’d just had. Dana Scully was being hurt, he couldn’t save her, couldn’t move she was screaming for him, calling out his name but he couldn’t do anything… He rubbed his eyes, got out of bed and went to his kitchen. After a drink and a sandwich he pulled on some sweats and set out for a jog. It was still night out and the soft December snow slowly kissed his face as he ran. After a while he came to a halt near the park. He knew she lived right on the other side of it, if he ran that way he’d come to her street, he’d see her window and then the feelings would come. He looked in the other direction towards the lake. If he went that way he’d only end up feeling guilty about not going to see her and wonder if he was letting her down or not “JESUS JOHN! Stop thinking about her!” he cursed himself and sat down on a near bench. He thought for a moment, John loved his job, never in his whole career had a woman got under his skin so much. He was sick and tired of waiting……waiting for that day she’d look at him differently instead of that distant grey glance in his direction now and then. He wanted her eyes to light up as soon as soon as he entered the room, he wanted to make her heart ache for him, he wanted her to smile at him, notice him and give as much as he gives. All the things he did when she was around. He went over in his head all the things he’s done for her, said to comfort her, sacrificed for her and then thought about what she’d done for him…not a big list! He understood what she was going through, the death of a loved one, and he knew how hard her life was at the moment…William had been adopted few years back, Mulder had gone away that day too. At first Doggett thought it was for his safety, he thought someone was after him again but he later found out that his illness had returned and that he’d gone away to die alone, not wanting to burden Scully. Again his feelings returned to her but this time he’d really had enough with that he turned and headed home. MEANWHILE SCULLYS APPARTMENT! Scully was sat at her open window with a blanket wrapped around her. She was gazing at the stars and now and again trying to catch the flakes of heavy falling snow to watch them melt in her hand. In her other hand was a letter, she held it to the light of the moon and read it AGAIN! Dearest Dana, I just want you to know that I am safe and very happy where I am. I’ve met people here who I can trust and who I know will take good care of me till the end. The day is drawing nearer Dana and thinking of all the happy times we shared together is the only thing stopping the pain and fear. I will miss you more than you know and I will love you forever and I will be with you forever. When I am gone I want you to move on and be happy. Fall in love and raise the family you couldn’t when we where together. Don’t cry for me and never stop searching for the truth……never give up……or I’ll come back and haunt you! (She always laughed at that bit) We shared something only fools could wish for and I’ll cherish that forever I love you Mulder X She wiped a tear from her cheek and promised her self she wouldn’t cry anymore. She’d move on and be happy well she’d try. Scully looked at the stars again and felt him watching her. “I’ll never give up Mulder……never” NEXT DAY DOGGETTS OFFICE Scully was surprised to find Doggett behind the desk, he was usually gallivanting somewhere meeting contacts, doing kersh’s ‘dirty work’ “Good morning Agent Doggett I’m surprised to see you here” “Well it is MY office” he said without looking at her, she found this odd and her doctoring instinct told her that there was something bothering him “Are you ok?” “Never better…Skinners got a case he wants us to look at” Doggett hadn’t asked Scully on a case for a while, he’d always felt she wasn’t quite yet ready but today he thought if she could drag her way through thick snow and heavy traffic to get to work she was just about ready too work! “There’s some old cabin in Heartwood forest that he wants us to check out, he says there been rumours of suspicious activity in a cabin that’s supposed to have been abandoned for years” “That’s crazy Heartwood forest is where all those murders took place 20 years ago, people are convinced its haunted and so nobody goes there” “Look don’t shoot the messenger ok, if you don’t want to come then don’t I’ve managed plenty of cases without you” “I wasn’t……I didn’t mean……” “I’m heading to the car, you got 5 minutes and I’m leaving” and with no further words he left. Scully didn’t know what to make of this; his coldness towards her hurt her a lot. She’d never seen him act like this. She really needed him today, today was the day she wanted to rebuild her life, rebuild the friendship she’d been neglecting towards him and he was acting like this. She decided to let it rest and went out to meet Doggett at the car. They drove in silence first to each other’s homes to collect belongings they might need in case they have to stay at a motel somewhere and then in silence on the way. December days where short and it was quickly becoming dark. Doggett noticed how tense Scully had become “What’s up?” “Oh…nothing…nothing” “Your scared aren’t you” he smiled at her “More nervous than scared…I haven’t been on a case for so long…and now here I am in the middle of winter on my way to heartwood forest……and its dark” “I didn’t hear the rumours……tell” “Well about 20 years ago there was this old man called Harry Heartwood, he owned a boating lake near the forest where he lived and every summer groups of teenagers, even kids would come to the lake and camp out and things the only thing is some of them never returned home ever again” “How did they catch him” “They didn’t……the police raided his cabin, found the bodies but not him. He was never found, some people say he went to Mexico, some say he drowned trying to swim across the lake and some believe he’s still there, hiding out in the forest” “What do you believe” “I don’t know what to believe…I just hope the bastards dead somewhere” They drove in silence again until Doggett came to a halt “What are you doing” “Were here” “Where?” Scully looked around, they had parked near the foot of a forest there was no road or pathway leading into it “Are you sure” “Yep!” “But where’s the road” He heard panic in her voice “It’s probably been over grown with trees and stuff we got to hike through” “What! Now! Can’t we find a motel somewhere and wait till morning, its dark and cold and……its dark” “Dana you didn’t have to come…its ok if you’re afraid you can wait in the car” She didn’t like him thinking she was a coward, he grinned irritatingly as she grabbed a torch from him and got out of the car. They grabbed their rucksacks and headed off into the night. They had been walking for ages and still no sign of the cabin or the lake “Are you sure you know where your going” Scully was getting tired and angry “Nope” “For gods sake Doggett what is with your attitude?” “My attitude?” “YES! You’ve been acting weird since this morning, have I done something” “Oh yeah here we go its all about you all the time” Scully scoffed “What the hell is the matter with you, this isn’t about me because I’m not the one with the problem…you’ve been moody, sarcastic and totally cold with me I get the impression you don’t care any more” “Well maybe if you gave a little you’d get a little” “What the hell does that mean” “It means I’m sick to death of being there for you when all you do is push me away” “Where did this come from” “Its been on my mind for sometime now…I cant take it any longer, I’ve tried to comfort you, I’ve tried to be your friend but you wont let me you wont trust me” “It’s been hard for me and you know that!” “Yeah well you know what its been hard for me too ok……so hard……and you don’t even notice……your not the only one who feels totally alone and hurt ok……I’m alone, I’m hurt, I lost somebody too” They stood in silence for a while “your right……I’m……I’m sorry” She began to cry “I’ve been so held up in my own world that I’ve forgot about the people who care about me, who matter to me……you mater to me a lot John more than you’ll ever know. I know that I haven’t shown it but when you come in to work every day and smile at me, say hello, I feel so glad that I still have someone like you left in my life, I do notice you and a appreciate everything……I really don’t know what I’d do without you” Doggett was stunned at her words, never in a million years had he expected to hear what he had just heard. He realised that the way he had treated her today was uncalled for he slowly walked towards her and took her in his arms. To his surprise she hugged him back, she hugged him so tight, he never wanted to let go and unknowingly to him neither did she. Like a miracle the clouds parted from the moon and the light cascaded over the cabin “We’re here” Scully turned and sighed relief “Lets go check this out……THEN can we go home” “Sure” They’d searched the cabin from top to bottom and not a single sign of life anywhere, well if what they were looking for was in fact ‘alive’. “Ouch” “You ok Scully what happened” “Oh nothing I just caught my hand on something sharp that’s all” “Here let me take a look” “No I’m fine honestly” “Scully will you let me look at it your bleeding” he tried to take her hand but she pulled away “Dam nit Scully there you go again” “DOGGETT IM FINE!” “FINE! Sorry I forgot! You don’t need help do you! Ever!” “WHAT! What the hell is that supposed to mean” “Forget it” “No not this time I want to know what it means” “It means I’m sick of you being so in denial” “John it’s just a cut” “I’m not talking about your hand I’m talking about all the time!” “Oh here we go again” “No you wanted to know what I meant so here goes your always putting up this front……like your so brave all the time, you never need help, nothing ever breaks down that wall you got working around you! You got this way about you and you act like you fine all the time but you’re not fine! Your hurt and lonely and you need help Dana. You need a lot more help than you know” “I don’t need help! I’m strong I can deal with anything” “NO YOU CAN’T! You may be strong on the outside but on the in your weak, your small and your scared” “I AM NOT WEAK! And I am not scared! You want to know the reason I shut you out John……its because you the one who’s weak” “What” “Yeah! You’re the one who’s weak and small and scared. I don’t think you’re strong enough to deal with my problems! The only reason you TRY to protect me all the time is because you think it will make up for not being able to protect Luke! I’M NOT LUKE DAMNIT!” Doggett’s face fell and she immediately regretted what she had just said “I’m…I’m so sorry John I didn’t mean that” A tear fell from his eye and he numbingly walked out Doggett was devastated but maybe she was right, maybe it was all the truth and god did the truth hurt he sat on the porch and sobbed his heart out. Scully could hear him from inside the cabin she was scared at suddenly being left here in this dark quiet place. she made her way out side. He was sat with his head in his hands, he was physically shaking with sorrow and she’d made him. She sat down with him and so wanted to hold him but felt she had no right to, she wasn’t worthy of comforting this man. Instead she rested her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands together. “I only said that because I wanted to hurt you……and the only reason I hurt people is because I’m just to fucking proud to admit when their right!” Doggett noticed her voice was cracked and she began to cry. “As much as I’ve never wanted to I trust you John……I trust you with my life……I need you now more than I’ve ever needed anybody my whole life. I’m scared, I’m small and I’m weak but I’ve never wanted to admit it……I’ve always believed that I could come through some how but I’m past it, I’m to tired to do this alone anymore. What you’ve said to me today has opened my eyes to the realisation that I’m not the only one suffering in this world” “I don’t protect you because of Luke” “I know……god I know” “I do it because……because I care about you……more than I’m prepared to say right now” Scully knew what he meant, she knew he loved her and she knew that having opened up to him so much having gotten everything of her chest she too could begin to love again and she knew who exactly who she wanted to love. John Doggett. “I want to show you something” Scully took out Mulder’s letter and handed it to him. After he read he sat in silence for a while “I Think I read that for the 100th time last night and only last night as I gazed up at the stars and held the snow in my hand I realised it was time to change, time to start again……with life, with work but most importantly with you” She turned him toward her and they embraced “This case is bogus……Lets go home Scully” “Sure” THE END