Title: Reassurances (sequel to "A Sense of Security")
Author: Diandra Hollman
E-Mail: diandrahollman@yahoo.com
Website: www.geocities.com/diandrahollman/thex_filesoutlet.html
Rating: R
Classification: S A
Keywords: DoggettTorture, ScullyAngst, Doggett/Scully UST, Rape
Spoilers: Blink and you'll miss 'em. None really worth 
          mentioning. Requires general knowledge of the show.
Disclaimer: Chris Carter blah, blah, blah...Ten Thirteen blah, 
          blah, blah. I don't pretend to own any of this, I'm 
          just having fun with it. That's what fanfiction is 
          all about!
Archive: Sure! Just tell me where so I know where to find it.
Summary: Scully vowed to help Doggett through the recovery 
         process after his brutal rape. The first step - the 
         physical - is the easiest.
Author's Notes: This is part two of the DoggettTorture series. 
          It follows "A Sense of Security". You should 
          definitely read that first, as this story would not 
          make much sense by itself.


Reassurances
By Diandra Hollman

The next thing I was aware of was the soft voices drifting in 
and out around me. I couldn't understand the words, but they 
didn't seem to be talking to me anyway. I was lying on my right 
side so I wouldn't put pressure on the knife wound or...other 
injuries, but I was so uncomfortable I wanted to scream. I 
tried to speak, to let the voices know I was awake, but my 
voice would not cooperate. I threw all of my energy into it and 
was able to manage an unintelligible moan. I tried to open my 
eyes, but that simple task required more energy than I had. I 
could only hope they had heard me around the oxygen mask.

I felt a hand on my back. 

"Hey there, sweetie," a nurse whispered in my ear. "Are you 
awake?"

I managed a nod.

"Are you in pain? Would you like me to give you something?"

I nodded, feeling the tears form behind my eyelids.

She disappeared briefly. I'm not sure when she gave me the pain 
medication, but I felt her lean back over me and rub my back in
comforting circles.

"There you go. You should feel better in a minute. Would you 
like another blanket?"

I hadn't realized I was cold until that moment. I nodded. She 
left me again and I heard a noise that reminded me of a deep 
freezer opening. I tried opening my eyes again. I was able to 
keep them open only for a second, but that was enough for me to 
see the nurse getting a blanket out of what looked like a small
metal refrigerator. 

She returned and spread a warm blanket over me, then resumed 
stroking my back.

"Are you feeling better now?"

I nodded out of reflex, even though I was sure I would be 
feeling miserable for a long time yet. She was being so good to
me, I didn't want to worry her.

She patted my shoulder and began to move away. I shifted, 
trying to get her attention. I heard a distressed whimper and 
vaguely recognized it as coming from me.

"What is it Mr. Doggett?"

I was finally able to force one word past my stubborn vocal 
chords.

"Dana."

"Is that your wife?"

"Partner." I hoped she would not ask me any more questions that
required speech.

"You want to see her?"

I nodded.

"Well, technically only family is allowed in the recovery room,
but I'll see what I can do, okay?"

I tried to smile at her, but I'm not sure it was a successful 
attempt.

"What's her last name?"

"Scully," I choked out.

*********
SCULLY:

I almost lost it in the OR. When Doggett looked at me, I could 
see the pain swimming in his eyes, but for him to actually 
admit that he was in pain...God, it must have been unbearable! 
Never once had he let his feelings show in front of me. I 
suspected he had personal feelings on the Billy Underwood case,
but he had refused to talk about it. The closest he ever came 
to actually revealing anything to me was the Tipet case and he 
had been shaking off what must have been the mother of all 
nightmares at the time. I also had no idea what he was talking 
about then. Dear God...did I call him "sweetheart"? It's a good
thing the anesthesiologist came in when he did or who knows 
what I would have said. An operating room table is probably the
last place a guy would want his partner to reveal her feelings 
for him...

There, I said it. I have feelings for him. Are you happy? I've 
tried so hard to deny it, but I just can't anymore. When I 
first met Doggett, I swore I would not allow myself to trust 
him unless he earned it. I guess I never figured that would 
happen. After all, I knew Kersch had sent him to spy on me, or 
worse to discredit me and shut us down once and for all. That's
how I ended up on the X-Files in the first place. And the 
little trick Doggett pulled to get me to talk when we first met
did nothing to calm my fears. I suppose I hated him for it. The
problem is, he's a difficult man to hate. I guess now I know 
how Mulder felt seven years ago. 

Doggett's eyes never left mine as the drugs entered his 
bloodstream. I continued to hold his hand firmly and stroke his
hair with my free hand until his eyes closed and he went limp. 
Then, as I had promised the doctor, I left the OR.

I filled out the necessary paperwork and sat in the waiting 
room. I felt numb. I found myself praying again that everything
had been a dream. I would wake up and everything would be back
to normal. Nothing would ever be normal again.

The doctor who had operated on John - Dr. Shriner - came out to
talk to me a couple of hours later. He told me that he had been
able to remove the knife and stop the bleeding without 
incident. He had also repaired the anal tears, but he warned me
that wounds to that area were prone to infection. In other 
words, Doggett was not out of the woods quite yet. They had 
taken everything they needed for the rape kit just before the 
surgery. Given Doggett's state of mind, I guess they figured it
best to do it while he was unconscious. Shriner assured me he 
would tell me the results of that as soon as he knew anything. 
I only hoped the rapist had left something for them to find.

"When can I see him," I asked.

"We'll be moving him into a room soon. I'll send a nurse for 
you when he's settled."

I nodded. "Thank you."

After Dr. Shriner left, I sat down to wait a little longer. I 
realized I had been staring into space, lost in thought, when I
heard a nurse I hadn't realized was standing right in front of 
me call "excuse me" for what must have been the third time.

"Are you Dana Scully," she asked when I finally acknowledged 
her.

"Yes," I said, immediately rising to my feet. 

She turned and motioned me with one hand. "Come with me."

I may have lost track of time, but I was sure Doggett couldn't 
have been moved to his room that quickly.

"What is this about," I asked as I followed her down the 
hallway.

"We don't usually allow non-family to visit patients in 
recovery, but seeing as how Mr. Doggett's family is not here 
right now and you two seem very close, I'm hoping we can make 
an exception."

She paused to study the confused expression I must have been 
wearing. "He woke up several minutes ago and he asked to see 
you."

Of course. I nodded stupidly.

When we reached the recovery room, she guided me to the small 
curtained (although the curtains were not drawn) area where 
Doggett's bed lay. She bent over to whisper in his ear as she 
stroked his back just behind the shoulders.

"Mr. Doggett?"

He let out a breathy moan.

"Dana's here to see you."

His eyes opened briefly as he searched for me, but he seemed 
too weary to keep them open for more than a couple of seconds.

The nurse walked over to me. "He's having a hard time opening 
his eyes but he seems to be aware. He should probably be 
sleeping but he's a very determined man."

She didn't know the half of it. I thanked her and she left, 
giving me a farewell pat on the arm.

I moved to stand near Doggett's head and slipped my hand into 
his. I bent over him to whisper in his ear.

"How do you feel?"

He groaned softly.

"Are you in pain?"

He shook his head slightly. I thought about all the times I had
been in a hospital holding vigil over Mulder, helping him 
soothe joints that had grown stiff from lying in a hospital 
bed.

"Is your back sore?"

He grimaced and nodded.

I used the hand not holding his to gently massage his spine. He
sighed gratefully.

"Better?"

He nodded, relaxing.

I felt myself smile for the first time since I had found him 
handcuffed to that desk. I brushed my lips over his temple and
whispered "You just sleep now, okay?"

He grunted and dropped quickly off to sleep.

*********

Doggett was transferred to a private room. I insisted on 
staying beside him despite protests from nurses and doctors 
alike that I needed to rest and take care of myself. I would 
not leave my partner. Especially not when he was so vulnerable.
So I sat in the chair the nurse brought me and held his hand, 
waiting for him to wake up.

"Couldn't stay away from this place, huh?"

I turned, startled, to see Mulder standing in the doorway to 
John's room.

"Mulder, what are you doing here?"

He took my response as an invitation to enter the room. 

"The hospital called Skinner. He told me Agent Doggett had been 
attacked. We both assumed you would be here with him." Mulder 
moved to stand next to me. "So, this is John Doggett..."

I looked back at John. He was still fast asleep. "Yeah."

"What happened?"

I swallowed. "I'm not entirely sure...he appears to have been 
beaten. His nose is broken and he has a deep knife wound to the 
left abdomen."

"Could it have been a robbery?"

"I doubt it. I found Agent Doggett handcuffed to his desk with 
his own handcuffs...and there is evidence suggesting he was 
raped." I closed my eyes. I could almost feel John's pain and 
humiliation as if it were my own.

"Jesus..." I heard Mulder say under his breath.

I could feel the tears in my eyes as I looked up at Mulder. "I 
keep telling myself I will be able to help him through this, 
but I'm not so sure I believe that. I keep hoping I'm going to 
wake up and find out this is all a nightmare."

Mulder knelt beside my chair and wrapped an arm around my 
shoulders. "You can help him. You will." He paused, studying my 
face intently. "How about you, how are you doing?"

I sighed. Figures...one more man who puts my well-being above 
everyone else... "I'm fine, Mulder."

"You should rest, you've been up all day. When's the last time 
you ate?"

"Mulder," I said warningly. "I said I'm fine. I'm not leaving 
him alone right now."

"I'm not suggesting you do. I can stay with him. Think about 
your baby, Scully."

My hand went to the prominent bulge of my abdomen reflexively. 
In those few hours I had been so worried about John that I had 
all but forgotten the baby.

"Go home," he continued. "Get some rest. I'll see you in the 
morning."

I nodded and allowed Mulder to help me out of the chair. I 
leaned over John and whispered in his ear. "I have to go. I'll 
be back soon, I promise. You won't be alone." I wasn't sure he 
could hear me but I still needed to reassure him, for my sake 
if not for his. 

Then I left the hospital, confident that Mulder would watch 
over him for me.

**********
MULDER:

/So, this is John Doggett.../ I'll admit, I was curious about 
the man who had taken my place on the X-Files in my absence. I 
was still human, after all, despite alien attempts to prove 
otherwise. I had never imagined I would meet Agent Doggett 
under such dismal conditions though. 

I read his chart, which merely confirmed what Scully had 
already told me. Rape, knife wound to the lower left side, 
broken nose. As a psychologist, I knew these were not the worst 
of his injuries. I was sorry I had not gotten the chance to 
know him under better circumstances - know what kind of a man 
he used to be, as I was sure that man had gone - perhaps for 
good - the minute the rapist had finished violating him.

Mentally, I rallied at the injustice of it all. Not only had 
the rapist hurt Doggett in a way that would outrage any fellow 
human, but he had hurt Scully. I could see it in her eyes, in 
the way she looked at him and held his hand. She would probably 
blame it all on her pregnancy and hormones, but I knew it would 
be a lie. She loved Agent Doggett. A part of me was jealous of 
him, but I ignored the feeling. I valued my friendship with 
Scully more than anything in the world. If Doggett made her 
happy then I would do everything I could to make sure he stayed 
with her. I just hoped they could get each other through the 
hell they were about to face. 

I stayed with him that night in her place. I only left the room 
to answer the occasional call of nature. I allowed myself to 
fall asleep in the chair beside him since I knew the slightest 
movement in the room would wake me up anyway. 

In the morning, I ventured from the room briefly in search of 
coffee. When I returned, Doggett was waking up. I set my coffee 
on the nearby table and leaned close to him.

"Welcome back, Agent Doggett," I whispered, not wanting to 
startle him. My efforts were in vain. He gasped, his eyes 
snapping open immediately, although they were still unfocused. 
He tried to roll away from me, but something halted his 
movements. He cried out and began thrashing. The monitors 
attached to him began fluctuating wildly, and I knew nurses 
would come running any second. 

I pinned his shoulders to the bed as I tried to make my voice 
heard above the noises he was making. "Agent Doggett, calm 
down! It's me, Agent Mulder. You're in a hospital. You're 
safe." I'm not sure if he heard me, but he sure as hell wasn't 
listening. I decided to try once more. I grabbed his chin and 
forced his head to turn towards me. "Agent Doggett, look at 
me!" 

His eyes finally focused on my face. After a moment I saw a 
flash of recognition and he began to relax. It was then that I 
realized what had set him off. 

The nurse finally arrived and began checking on her patient. 

"Who ordered the restraints put on him," I demanded.

She seemed startled by my question. "Uh...I don't know. I'm 
just starting my shift..."

"Can you find out who did?"

"Look, sir, if you-"

"This man was tied to a desk and raped," I interrupted. "Don't 
you think strapping him down is a bad idea right now?"

She blushed nervously. "I'm sorry, I had no idea... I'll make 
sure it doesn't happen again."

I nodded and watched as she finished her examination and left 
the room.

I heard a weak voice say "Agent Mulder," and turned to see 
Doggett looking at me questioningly. "Where's Agent Scully?"

"I told her to go home and get some rest," I said as I began 
undoing the restraints. I looked at his face and caught him 
staring at the scars on my cheeks - a little souvenir the 
aliens gave me. "Don't get too used to them, they aren't 
permanent." 

He looked away sheepishly. I finished with the straps, pulled 
the chair closer to the bed and sat back down. "Do you think 
that nurse was frightened away by this?" I indicated the 
wounds.

"The scars or your face?" 

I laughed. I hadn't expected that from him. I thought cracking 
jokes so soon after trauma was something only I did. I had a 
feeling Doggett and I would get along just fine.

THE END


More Author's Notes: I'm not done yet! Look for more sequels! I
haven't really written them yet, but I have it all mapped out 
in my head. Here is a tentative outline for the series 
installments:

PART I: "A Sense of Security" - finished and archived

PART II: "Reassurances" - you just read it

PART III: "Pit-stop on the Road to Recovery (tentative title)" 
   - this installment will focus on a medical complication as 
   yet to be determined. This will, of course, include a scene 
   wherein Scully gives a bed-bath to a fevered Doggett. 

PART IV: "Frailty" - this will feature a total Doggett-
   breakdown of emotions complete with lots and lots of 
   ScullyComfort.

I am undecided on whether there will be any more than that, but 
there may be one entire installment after Part IV wherein 
Scully helps Doggett "feel like a man again" if you get my 
drift. ;) All stories will be archived on my website (see 
header).

A few notes on this story: In this universe, nothing has 
happened beyond DeadAlive. This means Mulder and Doggett never 
met and the whole Absalom incident never happened. Therefore I 
saw no reason why these two couldn't be friendly towards each 
other and - in sharp contrast to the actual show - act like 
civilized grown-ups. Also, since they never met I figured 
Doggett would have no reason to recognize Mulder's voice. He 
would recognize Mulder's face, but remember the first time they 
"met" (although it was actually the Bounty Hunter)? Mulder 
never said a word!
Anyway, thanks for reading! Feedback is more than welcome (see 
header).