Title: Something Missing
Author: Sharon Rogers
E-mail: twirlingecho@yahoo.com
Category: VA
Rating: PG
Keywords: SD friendship, but if I continue from here, it'll be SDR
:-)
Spoilers: Through Three Words, I guess, although there's nothing too
specific.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Fox, etc, and I mean no
infringement.
Summary: Doggett wonders why Scully is suddenly interested in his
personal life.

Note: I'm pretending Scully and Doggett are the XF and Mulder hangs
around "helping."

Special thanks to JJ for the beta and the encouragement. :-)



"Something Missing"
by Sharon Rogers


"Get on the phone with this woman and find out exactly when she saw it
and where it was heading."

Doggett stepped out of the elevator to see Mulder standing in the
doorway to their office, shrugging his jacket on as he barked
instructions, presumably to Agent Scully.

"And pass on whatever you find to the Gunmen." Mulder brushed past
Doggett without even looking at him. He hit the elevator button,
closing the door just as Scully called out to him.

"Mulder, where are you going?"

With a sigh, Doggett turned into the office. "I don't think he heard
you, Agent Scully."

She gave him a weary nod and reached for the phone. Propping it
between her left shoulder and ear, she flipped through some papers on
her desk, her eyes darting over the information quickly as she searched
for a number.

Doggett slid his jacket off and placed it over the back of his chair
before heading to the filing cabinet to retrieve some paperwork that
needed finishing. He pulled the folder and slowly made his way back to
his desk with the file open before him, but he did not read it. His
attention was focused on Scully's voice as she spoke on the phone.

"What time did it appear? Mmm hmmm.... And can you tell me its
location?" She laughed gently. "In the sky... okay... which
direction? Do you know?"

Ah. Doggett dropped the folder on his desk, and slid into his chair.
Another UFO sighting. He closed his eyes, biting back an annoyed
grunt. No wonder Mulder was in such a hurry this morning.

He began typing up a report, barely aware of Scully still talking on
the phone. Minutes later, she hung up and leaned back in her chair
with a deep sigh.

Doggett glanced up. Her eyes were closed as she absently placed her
hand across her pregnant belly. He thought he saw her forehead crinkle
briefly before her eyes flickered open and looked at him.

"Find out anything useful?"

She shook her head. "I don't think this woman saw anything at all.
She sounded like she might have been drinking."

Nodding toward the door, Doggett was unable to keep the sarcasm from
his voice. "So Mulder's off on a drunken goose chase?"

He was pleased to see a slight smile cross her face. "Something like
that."

They both turned back to their computers and worked in silence.

---

Doggett spell-checked the report he had just written, then hit print,
deciding it was ready to send up to the deputy director. He noticed
that Scully had her chair pushed away from her desk and was staring off
toward the door. She didn't even seem to notice when he got up to
retrieve his document from the printer.

"Doin' okay, Agent Scully?"

She didn't respond at first, and he figured she must be deep in
concentration, so he started to compile his report into the folder with
the photos and evidence from the case.

"Agent Doggett?"

Her voice sounded odd. Somewhat timid. He looked up to find her eyes
searching his. She pursed her lips and looked away, seeming to lose
her nerve.

He leaned slightly toward her, resting his elbow on the arm of his
chair. His voice soft, he pressed her. "What is it, Agent Scully?"

Her head was still turned, but he could see her blinking rapidly, and
his heart clenched as the thought occurred to him that she was blinking
back tears. She looked back at him, her eyes bright.

"How long were you married?"

His eyebrows raised and he pulled back slightly. Then he mentally
reprimanded himself for his reflex reaction when Scully looked down as
if she were ashamed for asking such a personal question. Although he
certainly wondered what brought this on, Doggett decided simply to
answer her question rather than request her reason for asking it.

"Almost eleven years."

She nodded, pondering this information, and Doggett wondered again what
brought on this sudden interest in his personal life.

She looked down at her hands folded across her stomach. Her voice
sounded very small as she spoke again. "Do you ever miss her?"

Now this *was* getting personal. Doggett crossed his arms and leaned
back. He did not like to talk about his divorce. He had just about
decided to ask Scully what this was all about when she looked up and
locked her eyes on his. He expected to see curiosity as she waited
expectantly for his answer. He expected to see feigned interest
attempting to mask sheer delight at getting a juicy piece of gossip.
He had seen that look in the faces of most of the women and some of the
men in the precinct right after his divorce.

But the woman before him was not the office gossip. She was Agent
Scully, and he should have known better. As he examined her face,
Doggett felt his defenses melt. Her eyes were wide, and she nibbled
slightly on her upper lip.

Suddenly Doggett realized, Scully's questions were not really about him
and his wife. They were about her... and Agent Mulder. He took a deep
breath and answered her honestly, not sure whether what he had to say
would be what she needed to hear or not.

"Yeah. Sure I miss her."

Scully let out a breath, her face relaxing. She actually looked
relieved, so he continued.

"I miss having someone there when I get home at night." Doggett
chuckled. "I miss her cooking."

Another smile from Scully.

Doggett looked down at his desk, memories he had pushed aside for so
long suddenly flooding his mind.

"She always put on an apron to cook even when she was already wearing
her rattiest jeans and t-shirts."

He always found that really feminine and alluring. Of course, then
there were the times before Luke came along when she'd wear the apron
and nothing else. Probably not the best thing to share with Agent
Scully.

"I miss reading the newspaper together on Sunday mornings. She could
never finish an article without reading parts of it out loud to me."
Doggett thought about the many political debates they got into over
coffee on Sunday mornings. He couldn't help laughing out loud.

"Aw, Marie had some kinda temper when it came to politics. She'd read
something that would get her so angry..." He just shook his head and
looked back at Scully who was smiling at him.

What was that he saw in her eyes? Amusement? Gratitude? ... Envy?

"Where is she now?"

"Her family was originally from Cleveland, so she moved back there."
He wasn't sure where this line of questioning was going. And he wasn't
sure it was entirely appropriate for them to be discussing his ex-wife
in the office, but he was just so pleased to see Agent Scully smiling
again. She had been so tense since Mulder's return.

"Do you still keep in touch?"

Uh oh. There was that anxious look again. As if her very life
depended on his answer to this question. He leaned forward, resting
his arms on the edge of the desk.

Shrugging slightly, he answered. "Not very often but, yeah,
occasionally she'll give me a call. Or I'll call her, although I'm
usually not so good about that kind of thing."

Scully did not look satisfied, so he continued.

"It's not like we had a real messy thing where we were fighting all the
time. There wasn't any animosity between us."

At this point, Doggett knew he should stop talking. He was about to
reveal some very personal issues that were most definitely none of
anyone's business, except him and Marie. But Scully was looking at him
with such genuine concern... he was certain she wasn't asking to pry
into his past. He still thought she wanted to hear something from him
that would bring her comfort about her situation with Mulder.

Whatever that situation might be.

"It's just that, after Luke..." He felt his throat constrict. Even
after 4 years, he still couldn't say it.

Swallowing hard, he continued. "Everything changed. I know I changed.
We both worked more. It was easier than spending evenings at home
without him. Before, Marie and I could talk to each other about
anything. But neither one of us could talk about that. We should
have. And we both knew it. But..."

He just shook his head.

Scully's eyes had not left him as he spoke. And with each word, her
expression seemed to darken. She was definitely taking what he said
and applying it to her own life. Doggett wasn't sure he should
continue. She was beginning to look discouraged. He wished he knew
what was going on between her and Mulder, so he could give her
something more comforting.

But perhaps she didn't need to be comforted into maintaining the status
quo. Perhaps she just needed encouragement to end a relationship that
was already falling apart. Doggett certainly understood how much
easier it was to ignore all the problems and just stay.

He often wondered what his life would be like if he and Marie had
stayed together. They probably should have tried harder to work things
out, but at the time, neither was equipped for the emotional commitment
that would have required.

But Scully's situation was different. She and Mulder were not married.
And, although they had just been through a traumatic event, each one's
experience of that event was very different. Plus, she had a child to
think about who would be affected by every person in his mother's life.

Doggett looked at his partner's forlorn expression and decided to
finish his story as honestly as he could. She could take his
experience for what it was and decide for herself what was right for
her and her child.

"It was like..." He paused, looking for the right words. "With Luke
gone, part of our marriage was gone, too. And we couldn't get it
back."

He fixed his eyes on Scully's.

"There wasn't any one thing that made us realize it was over.
Somewhere in the grieving process we just lost the ability to care for
each other like we did before." Doggett sighed. "There was just
something missing."

He turned his palms up and raised his eyebrows. He didn't know any
other way to explain what had happened. Scully nodded pensively and
swiveled her chair to face slightly away from Doggett. He watched her
for a while, but he couldn't see her face. He had no idea what was
going on, and probably it was none of his business anyway.

He closed the file he had just finished and stood up.

"I'm gonna take this up to Kersh's office."

She still did not look at him. As he reached the doorway, he heard her
voice, barely above a whisper.

"Something missing."

Without pausing, Doggett turned the corner to leave his partner alone
with her thoughts. As he pressed the button for the elevator, he
looked back toward the office. He hoped their conversation had given
her whatever inspiration she needed, whether that meant putting a
greater effort into working things out with Mulder or working up the
courage to back away.

Doggett stepped into the elevator and punched the button for Kersh's
floor. Somewhere deep in his gut, though, he knew she'd leave Mulder.
The doors slid shut, and he closed his eyes, hoping for her sake, she
had the strength to do it soon.